As awesome as we like to present ourselves on air, we are actually not that interesting. But, since you’re reading this, you must be interested in the faces behind the voices. Thus, we shall humour you with some trivia about ourselves.

This is Hesham

Hesham Jones is one of the disembodied voices on your radio. Being outnumbered 2:1 on the show by girls, he feels the need to bring much needed ego-fueled manliness to UmmahTown, especially since one of them is his older sister. Hesham recently graduated in Computer Science and scored a job in Web Development. In other words making the dots on a computer screen change colors. It’s true, that’s the basis of computer science. Some other things about Hesham: He dislikes small fluttering organisms; after an uncanny dream, his goal in life is to find a gang of wolves that will accept him into their ranks; and he tends to write about himself in third person. Of course, you’d know all this if you’ve listened to the show…

This is AJ

AJ’s real name is Ayesha, last name Jones. That’s the same Jones as Catherine Zeta Jones (who she is sure is a blood relative). The thing about AJ is, she thinks she’s cool. But she’s not actually. With a non-money-making degree in Religious Studies from the prestigious Canterbury University, AJ is unable to find a paying job which she blames on the recession. Instead she dedicates her time to producing Ummah Town & writing the scripts which explains all the corny lines & bad jokes, which Hesham likes to complain about. Too bad he’s too busy making dots or whatever it is he does. AJ & Hesham like fighting on the show, but that’s OK ‘cos they’re siblings. People are often taken aback by how similar Hesham & AJ look, which isn’t that surprising since they have the same mother and father. AJ’s talents include talking, talking & talking. Her hobbies include cooking & baking & then not cleaning up. That’s what brothers are for.

This is Nada wearing an Ushanka

Nada Tawfeek is the latest addition to the team bringing her posh British accent and sarcasm to the show. In a series of uncanny events, the Jones’ met Nada after her dad came across the show not long after moving to Christchurch from Britishland. The Tawfeeks and the Jones’ are now good family friends, often BBQ-ing and adventuring together. Some not very useful facts about Nada: she does not like to cook but does like to eat; she is passionate about winning and is often compared to Monica from the popular sitcom “Friends”; she has a kitten which Hesham and AJ are severely allergic to, beginning with an itchy throat which develops into breathing difficulties. You may have noticed by now that this profile is not self-composed – a fellow DJ has taken the liberty to, quite deservedly, write Nada’s profile for her since she never wrote one herself. Ah, revenge is sweet…

This is Mohamed

Mohamed Khalifa is a temporary DJ on the show, which means he fills in when someone is away or sick. Actually, just when someone is away. He likes to think he is one of the main DJs but how can he compete with Nada’s accent , AJ’s ability to talk for very long periods of time and Hesham’s self-loving jokes (after which you will get punched in the ribs if you don’t laugh). His greatest achievement to date is producing a show with Hesham that has 74 views to date and recieved overwhelmingly good feedback. Some of his talents are making his parents angry very, very fast; playing football better know sometimes as soccer; and making Kebabs. His BFF is the other main DJ Hesham, but he has his doubts about that since Hesham has a famous saying: “out of sight out of mind”. Now that’s enough reading – go listen to Ummah Town already! (which I’m not really a part of so I’m not sure why I made a profile).